I work in a French gourmet store. When I tell people they can practice their French, and that there are no tests, they laugh, and are SO relieved! Why? Because we’re so conditioned to the idea that learning a language is stressful or difficult, or that you’ll be judged. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
How do you think babies learn a language? I want you to think about that. Go ahead, take a couple of days. After you have your answer, read the rest of this.
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OK, what’s your answer?
There has been significant research about how babies acquire their first language. Babies learn to speak by listening to their parents and caregivers. In most cultures, there is a sort of a conversation between the fluent speaker and the baby, where the fluent speaker talks as if the baby understands, or will learn to understand. Maybe using cute words and a soothing voice helps the baby feel comfortable. The fluent speaker leaves time for the baby to reply, and eventually, the baby replies with sounds, such as cooing or laughing. Before you know it, there are words in this conversation.
I’m just talking about listening and speaking, not reading and writing.
So, a sympathetic listener is a little like the parent of a young child, and if possible, a native or near-native speaker of the target language (the one you want to learn). Look for someone who supports your learning a language, talks to you nicely (though of course not as mushily as the parent of a newborn :), and perhaps most importantly, listens to you. Listening helps them figure out your current level, and from that, to use words and structures you can understand, which ideally would be just a step above the ones you already know. Yes, above, because the way to increase knowledge is often through guessing and trying things out.
Listening also helps your speaking partner understand what you’re trying to say. They could help you say it perfectly, but it’s better to focus on the communication (having a conversation about something that interests you both) than to correct every single error: that’s frustrating and counter-productive. You have to accept that there will be some mistakes; it’s completely normal, and to be expected. By focusing on what you and the other person are trying to say to each other, you will feel more supported and you will learn more words, grammar, and pronunciation without focusing expressly on that.
Make new friends, and have fun! Enjoy this blog, too:
https://www.iwillteachyoualanguage.com/blog/interacting-with-native-speakers
[If you’re interested in the research supporting these ideas, see Noam Chomsky’s LAD (language acquisition device) and generative grammar, Catherine Snow’s research on parent-child interaction, various researchers’ work on child-directed language (also called baby talk or motherese), Lev Vygotsky’s zone of proximal development, and Stephen Krashen’s Input Hypothesis and Affective Filter theories.]